Hysteria
by diabolikal rapture
Summary: Simon deals with Julia's true identity.


Title: Hysteria

Author: Diabolikal Rapture / Britt

Summary/Timeline : Simon finds out about Julia's true identity. This takes place in S3, I know it's been done to death but I love Simon and y'all know he's still alive.It's follows the same storyline of A Missing Link, AU after Sark informs Simon about Julia.

Disclaimer: Alias and all characters associatedare created and owned by JJ Abrams, I don't own them. The lyrics used are from Hysteria by Muse (fucking rad),it's their song, not mine.

Feedback: I'd love to hear what y'all think!

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**Hysteria**

Simon quickened his pace as he exited the elevator and went in the direction of his hotel room. His eyes wandered from door to door as he passed them, searching for the room he had been thinking of...the room he couldn't get out of his mind. He continued to stalk the length of the corridor, fists clenched by his sides. His thoughts were plagued by her. The liar, the spy...his lover. He stopped in front of that familiar door and unlocked it, pushing the door open slowly, allowing the memories to rush back and cloud his mind. He closed his eyes and breathed in the familiar scent...it smelt like her, it smelt like them..

_it's bugging me, grating me  
and twisting me around_

He entered the room cautiously, wondering if she was there, waiting for him. He shook his head, he couldn't believe that he was letting her get to him this badly. He'd been betrayed before, many times...but never like this...never by _her_. He crossed the room, observing the contents of the room. It remained the same, nothing had moved, nothing was missing...nothing except for her. He could feel that familiar emotion growing inside of him again. He looked down at the bed they had once shared, and took a seat, his head in his hands as he tried desperately to forget what he had just been told. It was ripping him apart, and he couldn't help but allow for his thoughts to consume him.

_yeah i'm endlessly caving in  
and turning inside out_

He felt the sting of tears in his eyes, but he held them back. He searched the room for something to distract himself with, but it all stunk of them. He looked down beside him, noticing the familiar camera hidden beneath below the bedside table. A smirk broke across his face...He reached down, holding the small device in his hands. He chuckled to himself as he pressed play. He laid back against the head of the bed as footage began to play across the screen. He watched as Julia entered the footage..his mind flicked back to that night when he had filmed her, he remembered it as though it had just happened. He continued to watch the screen as she climbed on top of him, he felt that familiar tingle...She began to speak, and he felt a lump form in his throat as he remembered what she had said. He wanted to stop the footage, but something kept his eyes glued to the screen.

She had stopped talking, and was resting on his chest, looking up at him. Her eyes stared at him, as though she were staring out of the camera. He continued to watch...waiting...anticiating the moment he remembered so well. She began to whisper. He felt the lump rise higher in his throat. He watched, listened, straining to hear what she was saying...what she was about to say. The moment arrived, and her words echoed through his mind. _I love you. _That familiar sting of tears returned.

_'cause i want it now  
i want it now  
give me your heart and you soul_

He threw the camera to the ground, causing it to break into pieces. He shook his head and stood, looking around the room once again. Everything had been a lie. He wondered about what she had said? Was it true? But what did it matter? It meant nothing to him now. He looked down at the ground, he felt tears rolling down his cheek as his anger began to rise. She had made a fool of him, and she should pay. He spun on his heels, the contents of the room blurring as the tears continued to roll down his cheeks. He clenched his fists by his sides, he needed to work out his anger, and he knew the perfect way to do it.

_and i'm not breaking out  
i'm breaking out  
last chance to lose control_

He allowed his mind to be full of thoughts, images, memories of her...it was time to let loose, and lose control. He needed to destroy everything they had shared...She'd began the destruction as soon as she had betrayed him...now he was going to finish it. He moved to the bedside and lifted the small table effortlessly high above his head before hurling it at the opposite wall. He watched as the force caused the wood to shatter and splinter into tiny pieces. He turned his attention to the coffee table and the vase placed upon it. He picked it up and tossed it from hand to hand before throwing it at the same wall, causing it to shatter. The tears continued to form in his eyes, slightly blurring his vision. He knocked everything from the surfaces around him, leaving nothing whole. He stomped down heavily on the coffee table, causing it to buckle and split into pieces.

He bent down, retrieving a table leg as he focused on his next target. He swung back, and with full force he plowed the table leg into the screen of the television, causing it to topple onto the floor in front of him, sparks darting from the screen. He looked up at the large mirror that hung on the wall before him. He stared at his reflection, he stared past his reflection and saw her behind him. He saw images of the two of them on the bed behind him, memories from their time together. He closed his eyes and re-organized his thoughts. He re-opened them, and still she was there, staring at him, judging him...tempting him. He closed his eyes again and clutched the wooden leg tightly in his hands. He swung again, opening his eyes just as the leg impacted on the glass. Still her image was there, staring at him as the mirror shattered into millions of pieces. He watched her image slide from the wall and scatter across the floor. He disgarded the wooden leg and stared down at the reflective glass at his feet while he caught his breath.

_it's holding me, morphing me  
and forcing me to strive  
to be endlessly cold within  
and dreaming i'm alive_

He admired the debris around him. Thoughts of revenge crossed his mind as he looked at the destruction. He tried to destroy every memory of her, but he hadn't accomplished anything...this was nothing. His memories were still in one piece, despite the shattered objects around him. He knew what he wanted to do, what he needed to do to rid himself of her for good. The more he thought of his revenge, the tighter the knot in his stomach grew. He knew, deep down that destroying every single thing they had touched, everything she had touched in his life, wouldn't bring him absolution. He couldn't help it. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he wanted her...He needed her.

_and want you now  
i want you now  
i'll feel my heart implode_

He crossed the room in a second and left the door to the ravaged room open as he left in search of her..of _Julia_...He reached for his phone, remembering the appointment he had withWarner ...or rather Jack Bristow...her father. He dialled her number, and waited as the answering machine rung out and he heard her voice again. He reached his car and set his hands down on the wheel, making himself re-consider what he had planned to do. He turned the key in the ignition and sharply pressed his foot down on the accelerator, his car speeding into the street.

_and i'm breaking out  
escaping now  
feeling my faith erode_


End file.
